I've always loved Fullmetal Alchemist--it was my introduction into the real world of anime (Avatar doesn't quite count, considering its American). And what an introduction... It's one of, if not the best, anime ever made (in my opinion and countless others). And from the very beginning, I loved Roy Mustang. Don't get me wrong, Edward is an amazing character, but he doesn't have that raw sex appeal and sheer confidence that Roy exuded. And damn, the bastard Colonel is insanely charming. And as soon as she was introduced, Riza Hawkeye became my favorite female on the show. She so strong, and the relationship between the two is tension-licious. Put fire and guns together, and you get the fabulous couple Royai. Damn. Just, damn. That pairing is smoking hot. Almost as hot as... Zutara. (Spoilers from here on out, so if you haven't read the latest volume of the manga, look away)


I am terrified that Royai will share the same fate as my beloved Zutara. Not because there's some rival dude that might take Riza's heart--there is no human on the face of the earth she places above Mustang. And Roy knows, better than we think, that Hawkeye is the one person he can always depend on, and I think that's led to feelings neither of them are brave enough to handle. (Doesn't that always seem that case that the most courageous characters are often the ones most afraid of their own feelings?)

No, I'm terrified of the good ole relationship killer... death itself. WHY!?!?!?!?!?! WHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! That was such an intense, fantastic scene, but if there's no Hawkeye, there sure as hell is no Royai. And how can there be a Mustang without a Hawkeye? How can he even contemplate existence without her? He lost Hughes, his best friend. But we're talking about his shadow, his guardian angel, his conscience and reason. His hawk's eyes. His Elizabeth. His Riza, for God's sake.

Dammit, this just isn't fair. My fabulous dreams of Zutara were ripped out from under me, but I was a graceful loser. OK, fine. But this is ROYAI, for heaven's sake!!!! FIRE and GUNS, baby!!! Damn, I thought Zutara was obvious. Royai is like, in-your-face, unavoidable, frothing for the moment of absolution shipping. She can't be dead. She just can't be. Roy saved Havoc, and himself for that matter, from fatal wounds that should have killed them. And if he's too freaked out or clumsy to handle it, then May Chang the little alkhestry wiz can save Riza. But there is no way that Riza dies. That is unfathomable, and totally unacceptable. Don't do this to me, Arakawa. Please, please don't!!!! AHAHAHAHA

I'm so freaked out, I can't wait for Chapter 101 to be released. I need answers, dammit!!! I can't focus on Sapphire Mage, NaNoWriMo is coming up, Annual Show is right around the corner, and I have school to worry about. And all I can think about is the awful sound of the blade rasping across her skin, the shine of blood gushing from Riza's throat, the tiny little gasp of shock she made, and Roy's bellow of gut wrenching shock. What can he do? What can he say? This isn't the first time FMA has swallowed up my life. It was so good, it's doing it again. I just don't know what I'll do if I lose this ship too.

I am not a gambler. The risk totally drives me nuts, and I'm not one to thrive on excitement or fear. Not only do I love Zutara and Royai, they seemed like such sure shots, that I had nothing to worry about. I was so wrong about Zutara, I cried. No joke. How can such an amazing and obvious pair like Royai be bullshit too? I just keep playing the scene over and over again in my head with a writer's embellishments, and mutter under my breath for it all to work out. Somewhere in Arakawa's wild imagination has to be a solution to this incredible situation. One that won't make me sob uncontrollably and hyperventilate. Which is what Chapter 100 did. No joke. I am that psychotic.